Some people spend their whole lives planning and looking forward to their wedding, meaning that quite simply anything less than a perfect day is just not good enough.
One bride in particular spent more than a year planning her wedding, having opted for an intimate day made up of just 70 guests with no kids invited, to keep costs down, as you do.
But, despite meticulously planning her day down to the last detail, a spanner was thrown in the works when her sister’s (and bridesmaid) babysitter fell through, meaning there was no one to look after her sons, aged two and five.
The bride reluctantly agreed to let her nephews come to the wedding, explaining on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum: “I felt pressured, but she begged for them to come. I told her as long as they behaved and her husband kept an eye on them.”
Immediately, she was forced to regret her decision when her sister turned up late “because the boys were fussing getting ready,” meaning that she missed the majority of the getting ready photos.
“Then the ceremony itself happened, and my two-year-old nephew began to act up during the vows,” she explained.
“My husband and I wrote our own, and about halfway through mine he begins to cry and fuss. My brother-in-law grabbed him and very awkwardly made his way out, with my older nephew behind telling his brother to shush.
“I had to restart my vows twice due to the disruption, and I was already so nervous. The venue was outdoor as well, so we could hear my nephew fussing for a while until my brother-in-law got them a good distance away.
“I didn’t see this at the time, but according to the best man my sister was dramatically shooing her husband out.”
However, things went from bad to worse when her sister completely disappeared following the ceremony, meaning the entire wedding party was completely held up from being able to get any photographs together as a group.
“After the pictures, my sister didn’t even say anything, no apology, nada. After the first dances she finally came up and was like “haha sorry about [nephew], it was nap time! He’s settled now. It was such a non apology and I was so upset,” the bride continued.
“I told her I didn’t like how dismissive she was of my wedding and how I broke my own rule to accommodate her family and she didn’t seem to care. She said she was sorry again but I was blowing things out of proportion, and how it wasn’t as big of a disruption as I was making it out to be.
“I was just boiling at this point and asked her to please go, I didn’t want her there anymore.”
The bride’s mum and her sister were both upset by her decision and neither of them have spoken to her since the wedding, which happened a week ago, leaving her questioning whether she made the right decision.
“She is an a**hole for bringing them and making you feel pressured when you already set up boundaries and preferences for this situation exactly,” one Redditor commented.
“She proceeds to give a pathetic attempt at an apology to save face but seems to be vaguely gaslighting you in the process, which is why I guess you ended up asking her to leave, because who does that on a day like that? At least fake through an apology and accept responsibility. This is why I opt for eloping haha. Can’t win for losing.”
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Another added: “You were unbelievably graceful in how you handled this situation. It seems that your sister was given every available tool to help you have a relaxed, quiet wedding and failed.
“It also reads in a way that she did a disservice to her children my making them attend an event that caused same level of stress. I do not want to make assumptions, but the mention of them being ‘fussy’ in the getting ready and ceremony gives the impression that they did not want to be there.”